Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
