mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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