no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
