yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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