Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
