he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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