After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
