oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
