Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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