Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
