I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
