Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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