how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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