Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
