And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
