a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
