Its about making memories worth repressing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
