So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
