i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was like eating out sand paper
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
