I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You're a waste of cheezeits
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize