Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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