He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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