Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize