spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
