"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
