Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
a search helicopter?!
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize