She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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