I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
