is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
