I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize