I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
