Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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