I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
