I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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