I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Randomize
