Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
