She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
