Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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