Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
