i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
