I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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