We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This is not my ceiling
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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