ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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