I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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