Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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