just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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