yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
