I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you would pick up someone in the library
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
