I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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