What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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