bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
