Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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