he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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