Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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