So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize