yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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