I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he fucked my hip out of place.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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