It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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