He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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