we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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