If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
