Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
